To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is addressed to you, those among us who write open letters. This open letter is in response to your open letter. As is the nature of open letters, you will probably never see this open letter. In fact, I have no intention of sending you a copy. For me, the open letter technique is merely a literary tool to engage the reader into imagining they are voyeuristically privy to some personal (yet glaringly public) correspondence not addressed to them.
Although this letter will never reach you, it will have much circulation and be the topic of discussion among me and my acquaintances as we criticize you publicly behind your back. Perhaps years from now you’ll receive this letter and realize what all the fuss was about. You’ll perhaps wish that I’d simply taken you aside privately and addressed the matter. However, that would not have given me this opportunity to scold you publicly.
P.S. My next letter will address the problem writing anonymous letters.
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Note: This is a satirical and sarcastic document for educational purposes only. Some open letters serve a purpose if the one being written about/to is actually sent the letter. Particularly for people or groups in positions of power, an open letter from a group can, like a petition, put pressure. There are currently very few results for a Google search on Open Letter, so this page should show up toward the top once it is added to the search results.